To The Women Whom I’ve Loved and Lost

Tags

emotionally scarred, INFJ, insecurities, languages of love, maybe i deserve, to the women i onced loved, vulnerability

To the women whom I’ve loved and lost:

Thank you for putting up with my shenanigans and antics

Thank you for giving hope to this hopeless romantic

And to the one that got away, I hold you in my memory banks at all costs

 

To the one that could be my baby’s mother and to the one that should be my Misses

 

I never meant to hurt you

And apologize for leaving you emotionally scarred

 

I want you to know, it wasn’t that I was emotionally unavailable;

Pretending I didn’t care for you when you left was incredibly hard

 

You gave me the kiss of life

Yet my foolish pride turned a piece of paradise into a cemetery of kisses

 

Maybe I deserve to watch you get married

Maybe a part of me died the day you miscarried

Maybe a fistful of tears is too much to carry

 

To the woman whom I’ve loved and lost,

May you find it in your heart to forgive me?

 

If my inability to love you gently led you to leave behind a trail of broken men,

Please forgive me

 

And to the woman that reads my poetry and can’t understand how I find it hard to express love:

I’m not blackhearted, I don’t have a blackheart

Black Love is beautiful, loving you is easy,

However, I’m learning how to accept love

I’m opening the dialogue to express love, albeit through a poem

I know you think I don’t have feelings

I’m learning to put my vulnerability out there,

Understand, I want to be a better man, I want to right my wrongs

I’ve been deflecting my insecurities for years,

To communicate better, I literally write my wrongs

Incidentally, my languages of love have destroyed women that I truly love;

If you look into my heart you’ll see, I wanna build God Body Knowledge

But my demons are living with me

I got feelings, I just lost a portion with each abortion;

You cannot love me if I don’t love myself,

I still ain’t forgive me

If you can’t understand how I’m antisocial yet social,

Please forgive me

I know my INFJ Myers Briggs is hell

But I see heaven in your eyes,

May you be patient with me?

 

–@StevieStreets #ode #tothewomenionceloved | To The Women Whom I’ve Loved and Lost

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Signs and Symptoms of Depression

Tags

depression, mental health, psychological

Impaired Memory
Thoughts of Death and Suicide
Mood Swings and Anger

High Anxiety
No Emotional Response
Sadness and Self-Blame

–@StevieStreets mental health awareness haiku |
Sign and Symptoms of Depression i and ii

Introversion: Introvert Problems

Tags

books over people, INFJ, introversion, myers briggs, quietude, replenishment, time alone

Sometimes you need to be alone to quiet the noise.
ENERGY IS EVERYTHING…
in order to do thee impossible and see thee unseen,
you must understand the power of quietude and not being seen.

I mean; the sun is brilliant by day,
yet at night the the stars are seen…
I guess you can say, sometimes, I like people
and then there’s those times when I refrain from all contact with human beings.

The vibe never lies…
if I catch the slightest hint of the wrong vibe, I’m done with people.
Yet still in all
when I need time to replenish, it has nothing to do with people.
Being an introvert is not what you think,
sometimes I need silence to hear the divine energy,
sometimes I just need to think.

I’m responsible for both the energy that I give
and the energy that I accept;
therefore, sometimes I need to be alone to get to know my “self.”
Sometimes, I don’t answer my phone cause I’m busy engaging my higher self.

Sometimes, I prefer books over people;
and that has nothing to do with my Myers Briggs type having 6% feelings.
Sometimes, I prefer books over people;
only because erudition and intuition are premonitions that replenish the higher self.

In retrospect, I’m 50% introvert with extrovert tendencies.
If Mindfulness and Stillness teach you how to welcome extraordinary energy;
in a world where people seek attention like food,
solitude is my natural propensity.

I find solace in the solitude,
nothing makes me feel more alone than small talk in large gatherings;
lonely is the only company when you’re in the company of those that don’t match your energy.
This is dedicated to those that take time to replenish.

If calm is a superpower, introversion is not a blemish.
This concludes my ode to replenish;
I had my dose of people for the day, I’m going to replenish. 🤓

–@StevieStreets time alone poem | Introversion: Introvert Problems

The Art of Love

Tags

dancing in the rain, emotional walls, hopeless romantic, the balcony scene, uncried tears

I wanna paint art on the walls that you built around your heart.

I can’t promise to erase the hurt,

I can only speak of the love that we can start.

Baby, we can create new memories;

let’s throw the bad memories out.

The world is a canvas, let’s make art.

Maybe we can canvass the world,

hold hands in the park.

I know emotional walls come from a legitimate place;

it’s an easy defense mechanism, when you need to feel safe.

I know your heart needs to heal,

I can give you both time and space

but I’d rather take you dancing in the rain to erase the uncried tears from your face.

Baby, we can create new memories;

let me turn your Heartbreak Hotel into a gallery space.

Let me show you all the magic that an artisan of love could make;

let me remind you that even at your worse you’re great.

I know at times you’re insecure as f***

but you are more than enough

and I adore you nevertheless, 

sweetheart, you are a work of art.

l know you’ve been running from relationships,

putting up walls to protect your heart

but I just wanna run my fingers through your hair,

ease your fear, kiss your forehead, keep you near,

kiss your neck, massage hands, nibble on your ear,

rub your feet, massage your mental,

explore the depths of your heart.

I see the vulnerable wild abandon in your eyes,

I see the capacity for empathy in your face;

I can’t promise to erase the hurt,

I can only speak of the love that we can start.

Baby, we can create new memories;

let’s throw the bad memories out.

The world is a canvas, let’s make art.

Maybe we can canvass the world,

hold hands in the park.

I wanna paint art on the walls that you built around heart.

Let me turn your Heartbreak Hotel into a gallery space.

Let’s go dancing in the rain to erase the uncried tears from your face.

I know emotional walls come from a legitimate place…

But what am I to do, knowing I love you

and you’re out here with uncried tears on your face?

What am I to do, when I’m out here like The Balcony Scene, 

adoring the windows of your soul like The Starry Night?

What am I to do, knowing that the walls that you are building will hide me from your eyes?

What am I to do, knowing that the walls that you have built to keep your heart safe

are the same walls that will put the mask of night upon thine face?

Oh love, sweet love! Wherefore art thou love?

Let’s turn this Heartbreak Hotel into a gallery space.

Let’s throw the bad memories out;

let’s go dancing in the rain to erase the uncried tears from your face.

Oh love, sweet love,

help this hopeless romanctic put the art in your heart once more.

Let me paint art on the walls that you built around your heart, forevermore.

–@StevieStreets #hopelessromantic #poem | The Art of Love

Let It Go

Tags

emptiness, higher vibrations, living abundantly, making room, the art of letting go

Vibrate higher, let it go… 

Discipline yourself in the art of letting go; 

when you began to need less, 

you will begin to live a more abundant life. 
The wisdom of emptiness will teach you to let go of the ego, 

let go of people,

let go of the baggage, 

let go of the need to be right,

let go of everything that does not help fulfill your life.
You must master making room, if you want to experience more.

If you keep holding on to what feels good, 

there will be no room for greatness to arrive in your life. 
–@StevieStreets #livingabundantly #poem | Let It Go

Bearing Burdens

Tags

arduous, burdens, carrying one's weight, thresholds, tipping the scales, tolerance, weighed down

Measuring the weight…
of one’s conscious tips the scale;
bearing the burdens.

Stevie Streets | from THE EMOTIONAL PARAMETERS COLLECTION: Bearing Burdens

A Screaming Whisper

Tags

consciousness, introspection, self-talk, silence, thoughts, thresholds, weighing the odds

A SCREAMING WHISPER…
penetrates beyond the silence;
those inner voices

–@StevieStreets | from THE EMOTIONAL PARAMETERS COLLECTION: A Screaming Whisper

Introversion: The Life & Times of the Quiet Ones – In Retrospect

Tags

introversion, reserved, reticent, shut up i can't think, silence

Introversion: the
life & times of the quiet
ones – in retrospect

Ahh… isolation!
I’m not an introvert – nah,
I enjoy silence.

What are you reading?!
The book means don’t talk to me;
said the blank stare – smile.

Do you like books, more
than people?! Uhh – Yeah! All of
my friends do too – ha.

Yall are so quiet!
We did not think you noticed,
with all your talking.

Shut up! I can’t think!
We tuned you out, long ago;
you talk way too much!

I’m a self-soother…
I need to go recharge, now;
silence is golden.

–@StevieStreets | Introversion: The Life & Times of the Quiet Ones – In Retrospect